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Honey please get down from there that’s not even where the fritos are

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NOOoo

Me: bye I’m going on a date

Parents: with who?

Me:

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It’s so sad when u see like older movies that are like 2014:the year we contact aliens and learn to speak their language and build robots to fight a race of weird monsters
Like no sorry were still tying scorpions to balloons and crushing cans with our boobs

how are you so attractive? your face always makes me smile uncontrollably and you're cute and sweet and you're an adorable dork
Anonymous

Omgggg :^0000000!!!

why scar on neck? sorry if this is a personal question, im just curious
Anonymous

I got it during surgery because my thyroid was rly deformed and gross like 2x the normal size so they took it out. :^0. It’s ok ur not being mean about it and like asking me if I’m wearing a Halloween costume on my neck lol

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I’ve run out of rad and totally kool captions

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Whatever man

Omg I have an aisling cosplay I keep forgetting to wear