orlathewhale:

zeldaturkey:

notmybaconyoubitch:

remembrance-of-appa:

midnight4568:

bespectacledsquid:

ladyiroh:

amon-the-floor:

merlotic:

oraldiarrhea:

passiveinferno:

crazybrilliantnonsense:

vitalregionsseized:

askfaroeislands:

drinkintealikeaboss:

[…do jeans count? if not…a paper bag. 

3 inches deep. 

My left cheek

75%]

I was stabbed by a pillow, 3 inches deep, my leg is where I’ll be stabbed. 97% survival chance.

Stabbed by a washcloth in my forehead, 4 inches deep. 37% survival chance.

holy shit how did I manage to get stabbed by a washcloth

stabbed with my phone in the leg 3 inches deep. 96% survival chance

Stabbed with a silk ribbon (wow) in the solar plexus, 4 inches deep, 06% survival chance. 

stabbed with a disposable shaving razor (k) 2 inches deep in the leg (??? i can’t remember) and 44% survival

stabbed with a kleenex box 10 inches deep in the face 25% survival????????????

stabbed 10 inches deep in the left cheek with a t-shirt (um…ouch?) with a 68% chance of survival

how did i get stabbed with a t-shirt? who even does that?

“Breaking News! LadyIroh has been stabbed with a blue comforter 4 inches deep in the left side of her ribcage, right breast and upper right quadrant of her abdomen. She has a 92% chance of survival…”

Mine sounds really dirty…Like the lame beginning of a cuddlefest….

Bowl, 1 inch, right knee, 96%.

I’m good, I think.

Blue m’n’m, 3 inches, right wrist, 39%. Ok……

I just got stabbed in the groin with a chair, and there’s a 77% chance of me survivig.

Well fuck.

I got stabbed in the wrist with an iphone 1 in deep and there’s a .02% chance of survival 

fuck me

Got stabbed with my Tooth Brush in my right thigh, 9 inches deep. My survival rate is 20% 
Well fuck : P 

Stabbed by fluffy pyjamas 10 inches deep in the wrist,46% of survival. :CCC

Stabbed by a stuffed toy hippo 4 inches deep in the butt with a 54% chance of survival.

Shit