A mechanical pencil has gone 8 inches through the lower lip of my mouth, thus passing through and leaving me with a hole there. I have a 51% chance of survival for some reason. (Maybe I’m panicking and will injure myself more?)

i get stabbed in the face somehow with a lord of the rings book and i have a 13% chance of survival

how can you get stabbed by a BOOK

i get stabbed in the face by a blanket, 8 inches deep and i have a 13% chance of survival.

what.

i got stabbed in the leg with a shirt, one inch deep and i have a 10% survival chance

how the hell

A tupper ware lid has pierced my finger two inches deep. I have 03% chance of survival.

A Cat In The Hat shirt has stabbed my left thumb eight inches deep. I have a 26% chance of survival.

I can’t believe Cat In The Hat killed me! D:

I got stabbed by a large coffe cup in my hand, the wound is 6 inches deep and i have a 65% chance of survival. I dont think i have a hand anymore.

Stabbed with my cellphone one inch deep 59% chance of survival

Stabbed in the temple 6 inches deep with my blue computer mouse…. 80% chance I will survive, but how damn embarrassing.

I got stabbed with my panties 10 inches deep in my forehead and I have a 13% chance of survival.

Stabbed in the nose 4 inches deep with a bed sheet…19% chance of survival.

I got stabbed in the forehead 11 inches deep with an ice pack and I have a 54% chance of survival.

I got stabbed in my forearm 2 inches deep with a cappuccino mug and I have a 12% chance of survival.

ive been stabbed in my finger with a rubber bracelet that went 4 inches deep and i have a 02% chance of survival

I’ve been stabbed in the chin with Harlan Ellison’s ‘Paingod and Other Delusions’, the cut is 1 inch deep and I have a %02 survival rate.

I’ve been stabbed 4 inches deep into my left leg with my sweatpants. I have a 69% chance of survival.

I’ve been stabbed by my shirt 1 inch deep into my wrist and I have a 52% chance of survival.